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The Mummy Rhymes - 'Ode to a threadworm'.

FYI: When I'm not writing beautifully sentimental bespoke and personalised poetry for my clients, I like to write about everyday kind of things that are sometimes lighthearted in nature. This was one of those days...


So Mums and Dads...

We talk about lice, we talk of dead rodents in 'Three blind mice'.

We talk about viruses and each little germ,

But the voices go quiet when it comes to threadworm.

So I'll paint you a story of my son's itchy bum,

From his worm exterminator mum!

He was squirming and whining and of course I just knew

And then I saw the bastard things in his poo.

Too late for the chemist, I sent him to school,

"Don't you dare tell anyone what you found in your stool".

I raced to the pharmacy during lockdown,

Blasting Gangsta Rap all over the town.

It had been a long time since I'd left the house,

Elongated the trip to get away from my spouse.

I joined a long queue, the music was loud.

I had to announce it in front of the crowd,

"I'd like a family pack, treatment for four".

I swear I saw someone race to the door.

As I bowed my head low, ridden with shame,

A woman whispered "I'm here for the same".

All of a sudden, the music took over my soul

And I started dancing all out of control.

The other worm lady joined in with my shaking,

Complete utter twats of ourselves we were making.

But it felt good to bond with a stranger over the worms.

We are all human, music confirms.

So I collected the medicine feeling much more content,

Then to pick up the kids, I merrily went.

"You didn't tell anyone about the friends in your bum?".

"No" said my boy, "except my friend Mum".

"Why on Earth did you tell him?", I said to my son.

"Wait just a minute as I am not done...

You see, Ben wanted to swap seats with me

And I told him that I didn't agree.

I said there might be worms on my chair,

He said not to worry and that he didn't care.

Coz he told me that he's got them too!

So now we're worm buddies", (I wanted to spew).

"Ah, that's nice" I said as I forced out a grin.

"Now open your mouth" - MEDECINE IN!



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